From Christian to Atheist: Part 5

At the point that I was a senior at Royal High, I had effectively stopped being a Christian. I still believed in a god, and an afterlife, as well as a whole lot of other things, like ESP, ghosts, UFOs and chances are if it was even vaguely “mystical” I was a believer. I even gave the Bible a selective pass on some of the things in it if there were explanations that fit what I had come to see as within the psychic/mystical. Ezekiel’s visions were UFOs, Jesus could perform miracles…but so could many other “mythical” people of the time. If monks could fly, Jesus could walk on water. If there was Kool-aide to drink, I drank it.

Around this time the Jesus movement was really getting big on campuses all over the States. They had high jacked the coffee house/hippy vibe and created a kind of “cool” atmosphere for young Christians. Hell, they even took Beatles songs like Nowhere Man and tried to make that carry a Jesusy feeling.

Now it’s important to understand, before I go further, that I was done with Christianity. While I might have been near certifiable regarding all the other crap I bought into, I had realized the Old Testament was full of holes and The New Testament was nearly as easy to dismiss. That was not a ride I was going to buy a ticket for again. So naturally, at some point along the way I discovered that the person I thought of as my best friend had bought it “hook, line and sinker”, and somehow had not bothered to tell me about it. I was not a happy camper.

Talk about a catch-22. Jim couldn’t have honestly come out of this without looking bad no matter what he did. On the one hand, he’d kept the whole thing from me, and on the other hand, I wasn’t going to drink from that cup again. Period. Ever. A "Kobayashi Maru" situation with no cheat possible. As it turns out, there were several other members of the circle we ran around in that had been sucked into the abyss along with him. I think the effect could have been less bothersome (or hurtful) if I had been invited near the start of the thing and simply turned it down, but that didn’t happen, and truthfully, I don’t know that I would have responded any better.

I thought of Jim as my best friend, but I honestly don’t know that Jim felt the same way. I was certainly on the list of his friends, and maybe near the top, but perception is usually a one way street. I would often find myself being brought into things he was doing after they were already in motion. Again, I have to be careful here because what I saw as so, might have not been so. I was not a very good reader of social situations. 

But I felt betrayed, and it was the beginning of a string of events over the next few years that would ultimately cause me to close the door on that friendship. As I said, I don’t know that he stood a chance.

What all that did was make me uber aware of the things I saw in the Christian community that were false, and cautious about the overly “happy” nature of Christians in general. There was everything in that movement that clambered cult or brain washing to me. The idea that these kids (or any adults I saw involved in the Jesus movement) were any better off or different was silly. I went to school with them, and push come to shove, they hadn’t really changed all that much. They had just decided that now that they believed in Jesus, they were happier than everyone else, and while they could cheer about forgiveness, they were still the same in most other ways. I didn’t buy it, and it left a bad taste in my mouth.

I really was done with organized religion by this point, but I wasn’t done with belief, and I still had one more major influence that I haven’t talked about yet. This last influence was the one that would set me on a path toward atheism, because this is, I think, the first time the word came up in any conversation for me. Next time, I talk about Linda.

Makers of gods

I have been in arguments and discussions about religion since I was 13 years old. That's when I started the journey that led to my becoming an atheist. It was an 11 year journey, because I didn't decide that I was an atheist until the year before my daughter was born. I was 24.

Many different things led to making that decision. One of them is the realization that we (meaning humans) insist on answers to all our questions. If we don't have answers, we make them up. Here's how I think it might have gone, long ago in a quiet cave late one night when a few of the folks inside couldn't sleep.

Tuggi: It's dark out there.
Farg: Have you noticed that that big shiny thing doesn't stay up there?
Tuggi: Well, Duh!
Farg: What do you mean, Duh? I'm just saying, it doesn't stay up there?
Garph: Where does it go?
Tuggi: That way. (Tuggi points west)
Garph: But why?
Farg: Don't know, do we?
Tuggi: Speak for your self. I have it all figured out.
Garph: Really?
Farg: No not really. He's full of beans, he is.
Tuggi: Am not. There's two of them, you know.
Garph: Two of who.
Tuggi: Two of the great and powerful beings in the sky.
Farg: Oh come on.
Tuggi: The one only comes out at night, and he's not as strong as the day other.
Garph: How do you know?
Tuggi: During the day, you can't look at the bright one. He is that powerful. But during the night, you can look at the face of the other. And he changes.
Farg: He's making this up you know.
Garph: Shhh! I want to know more.
Tuggi: Not making it up. You have seen his change from whole, to partly whole, down to nothing.
Farg: And where does he go when he's nothing?
Tuggi: He goes and gets his light back. The bright one steals it.
Farg: Does not.
Garph: That makes sense. The bright one steals it and the other chases him across the sky.
Tuggi: Exactly.
Farg: Buggers. Your full of bean gas.
Garph: (Hits Farg on head with rock.)
Tuggi: Why'd you do that?
Garph: He doesn't see the truth in what you say. Had to bash him.
Tuggi: Ah. He'll listen better when he wakes up.
Garph: Truth.

So there you have it. The beginning of the gods. The names were changed to protect the innocent.

Now think about it. There are a bazillion gods. Everyone has one, they make new ones from old worn out gods, and have been known to construct them out of whole cloth. Gods explain good and bad weather. Good and bad luck. Victory and defeat. Heck. Gods even explain ugly babies. Gods are everywhere. In trees. Rocks. Holes in the ground. Really good weed. (So I've been told).

I've been told that there is only one true god. Of course, I've been told this by people who define this one true god differently from the others who define him/it/her. Everyone is convinced that their explanation for this god, his history if you will, is the right one. And all the histories are different, too.

All these gods are there to explain things that we otherwise didn't (or don't) understand. Don't have an answer? God did it. And if you can make up answers for what gods did and didn't do, you can make up answers for other things you don't understand. Just ask the creationists. They make shit up all the time.

And all this wouldn't be so bad if people just kept it to themselves, but they don't. They want to teach it in the schools and pass laws.

Too thick to accept the fact that gays and lesbians are the way they are because they were born that way? No trouble, go to the Bible, Koran, or other book of ignorance and it will tell you they are bad. It may not say why, except that they are (insert something awful here) in the eyes of someone's god. Never mind that most of these rules were written by bronze age people who didn't have a clue about genetics, brain chemistry or development, or even the slightest understanding of what makes us tick.

Good god, these people thought a snake could convince a woman to eat an apple. They accepted stories of talking asses. Worse. They accepted stories from talking asses.

Really folks, it is time to put all these poor explanations for understanding away. We have science. We are getting more answers all the time, and these come with real evidence that supports them. Do we still have questions? Yes. What to do? Look for answers and not just say, god did it. In the mean time? Not a problem.

Just say, "I don't know".

More on Death

You know, once you touch on a topic, it can be hard to put it down altogether. I have two other thoughts on the subject. Both have a humorous element (to me anyway).

First is a recurring thought about T.V. shows and holiday breaks. Smallville is a good example here. One of my favorite shows that has gone on break till January 15th. It's at least a two parter, "to be continued" type. My thought was "Oh Great! What happens if I die before the conclusion? I'll never get to see the episode." Heh...

Because I live in the now, because I, like most people can't really get my mind around not having one (a mind that is), I feel like I will "miss" the show. Of course, I won't even miss me, much less missing the conclusion of a two parter, but there is still that little voice that has to have its way.

The second thought has to do with those who have died before us. In my extended family, my mother, father, several aunts and uncles as well as a cousin or two have all "gone on before" me. In short, they have died.

So what do we hear the believers say at important moments in their lives? "I wish my mother was hear to see this...", which is where I would stop but not the religious, "...but I know she is watching from heaven." At which point they look up and usually follow with, "This ones for you Mom."

Now I have several reactions to this kind of statement:

1. I can understand the feeling behind it. I reacted with a serious depression when my mother died 15 years ago next Friday, and I did miss her seeing my accomplishments big and small. I would have loved for her to live long enough to meet her great grandchild.

2. But let us assume for just a moment (before we stop assuming when done with this exercise) that mother is up in heaven right now. What in hell makes you think she has time, or the inclination to be looking down on you at this very moment. Wouldn't she have more important things to keep her busy without spending time looking in on what is going on elsewhere in reality? Doesn't God have Memorex? And time, not being an issue as far as the whole linear thing is concerned should allow one to view all those "important" moments in one sitting, don't you think?

3. And then there is this last issue. What if...what if it is really true that our mothers, fathers and other loved ones are sitting in heaven, (are they in the cheap seats, all the best ones taken by this time?) "watching down on us" all the freaking time? I mean really. I don't want to have to deal with the image of my mother watching me in the john, having sex or for that matter watching "Debbie does..." anyone. I would quickly cease being able to do the simplest damn thing in the toilet or the bedroom. Who in hell thought that up, and what makes them think that is an image anyone with half a mind would want.

I'm Just Saying...

Non Sequitur

One of my favorite comics is Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller . I get it on a daily basis via my email. Here is one of his latest and one of the reasons I like his work.

Living in a world without gods

I started having discussions about atheism, religion, philosophy and such over 36 years ago, in high school. While watching the movie Contact (1997), I heard Matthew McConaughey's character make the comment that he would not want to live in a world without god in it. I have heard that same comment made by my best friend in high school, people at work, at parties and in many other situations. My take on this comment is:

Too bad. You don't get to vote.

In this universe, either there are/is gods/god or there are no gods. Period. We don't get to vote, the universe is not a democracy/republic/monarchy. We don't get a vote, we can't push through an initiative, and we can't overthrow the king/dictator/ruler. So it doesn't really matter to the universe whether or not you want to live in it if there is no god. As a matter of fact, if there is no god pulling the strings (quantum or otherwise) then you have been living just fine without one. That's the funny part.

Imagine hearing someone, a child for instance, saying, "I don't want to live in a world without a Santa Claus". This kid is in for a rude awakening somewhere down the line. And all the belief in the world will not make Santa real. There is no Santa. Million's of believers in Santa, will not make him any more real. Building institutions meant to pass on his rules for life would only make money for the institutions, and likely silly rules to live by.

Given the number of efforts to prove a god exists, and the level of success, we can be relatively sure that there is no god. And here you are with all these folks needing to decide whether or not to stay in this world.

It is a silly statement. You are living in this world. Gods abound in our imaginations by the thousands, but only in our imaginations, and no amount of wanting will make them any more real. I'm just saying.

What If!

One of the things that you will run into sooner or later if you go out at all is the hand out given to you by someone who wants to convince you that they have the real goods on some subject. One that I have seen on-line, handed out at a 4^th of July fireworks event is called, “What If...”. It asks several questions in a “what if” manner, and then answers them as though the only possible answer is the one they provide. In this case, the “they” I speak of are Christians. Each question is followed by their chosen answer and selected Bible verse.

While I don't have all day to address each and every “what if”, I will touch on a few.

What if there really is a Creator-God? What implications does that make for me, His Creation?

• Well, there are so many possibilities here. First of all, why assume this god is a He? Gender is a product of biological necessity which evolved in many species, and would have very little function in what most people think of as a god. Does he have female gods to share his time with? Are there little baby gods out there like Trelane of Star Trek's “The Squire of Gothos” episode? Without knowing what kind of god he is, there is absolutely no way of ascertaining what, if any implications there are for me. Actually, I can't see any that would matter. The “fact” that he is a creator-god, does not mean he created me.
  

What if that Creator will hold man, His Creation, accountable in a day of judgment?

• Well, now we have a problem. I know that the Christians handing out this pamphlet think this creator/god is “their” god, but there is no guarantee, now is there? There are as many religions out there as there are fleas on a dog, if not more. So we don't really know what he would hold us accountable for. It is possible that he doesn't like people who push their beliefs on others. Now what implications would that make for the bloody Christians?
  

What if the Creator-God really loves man, His Creation?

• Boy they really want to pound home that “His Creation”, thing don't they? Well, if he really loves me, then no problem. Just as I love my daughter and wife, and would go to all kinds of trouble to see to it that they ended up all right, I am sure that this god would want to do the same for me. IF...he really loves me.
  

What if the Creator-God has a son named Jesus?

• Well then, assuming this is the Jesus of the Bible, and that the current right wing fundamentalist view of him is correct, then I'm screwed aren't I? But ..., there is the problem that Jesus is such a sketchy historical character, and that there are so many possible ways of interpreting the New Testament (just look at all the different Christian denominations and individual beliefs about him), that I really don't feel that there is much chance of Jesus being a problem for me. And “what if” the Gospels got it all wrong (very likely), and Jesus really isn't about sending anyone to hell because we didn't buy into a 2000 year old fairy tale?
  

This is where I'll stop for now. Playing “what if” can be fun, especially if you can turn it around.

What if there is no god.

What if we are what we appear to be, an evolved species on a small planet near the edge of a medium sized galaxy amongst billions of galaxies in a nearly 14 billion year old universe?

What if all these religious trappings are man made madness that distract us from so many other important things in life?

What if, while wasting time praying, proselytizing, and pushing gods, the opportunity to enjoy life is passing you by?

Now that's sad!

Concerning reasons to believe - part 1.

There are plenty of people out there who think that they have irrefutably solid arguments for the existence of a god. Usually, if you live in the U.S. as I do, they are arguing for the existence of the god of the Christian religion. This god gets the “g” capitalized so that God becomes a proper name. And for some reason, Christians seem to think that if they “prove” a god exists, the only one that could mean is their god. The big G god. I'm not sold on that particular notion, but then, I'm am an atheist, so there you go.

Here are some arguments borrowed from P.Z. Meyer's site from a letter he received listing 50 proofs for god. I am going to present a few at a time just for fun.

"Atheism is a faith in that which has not been proved. The disbelievers have not witnessed anything to not believe in, whereas the believers believe because they have witnessed. There is no 'good news' to preach in atheism."

Actually, the disbelievers have not witnessed anything that would compel them to believe, so they do not. Had I witnessed something that truly proved there was a god, I would be silly to continue to disbelieve, now wouldn't I? Also, I know many people who believe in a god that have not witnessed anything that could be considered godish in nature, yet still believe because of childhood training, fear, rigidity, or just a desire to think there is something out there greater than themselves that is in charge of all of this. There may be other reasons as well. And lastly, I see lots of 'good news' in science, living, love, play, work and other human endeavors.

"How much of the atheist's faith relies on anger with God as opposed to genuine disbelief in God?"

"Why do many atheists shake their fists & spend so much time ranting & raving about something they don't believe in? If they are no more than a fizzled out battery at the end of the day, then why don't they spend their lives partying, or getting a hobby?! Why don't they leave this 'God nonsense' alone?"

Two for the price of one. Atheism is not a faith. It is a rejection of a belief. I know people who have been angry with god. They are called Christians, Jews, Muslims, and many other names, but not atheist. See, an atheist does not believe in a god, and so, wastes little time being angry with it. And most all of the atheists I have met and read over the years have all held a genuine lack of belief in gods.


As to fist shaking, ranting and raving, this is usually aimed at believers who feel that laws based on their version of god (the Christian one as a rule) and it's rules as they have been interpreted from some religious book, should be applied to everyones lives, and not just their own. Also, you will find that there is much less of the fist shaking, ranting and raving than just simple, truthful and un-gilded statements that put our ideas and feeling about gods in words that are not sufficiently PC or reverential for the believer. See I don't believe in gods, I don't worship them, I don't revere them, and I don't worry about saying that this god is evil, or that one a tyrant, he is vain, and she is not so pretty as she believes. They don't exist. But as long as people out there believe that they can make me live by laws that have only a religious basis, or accept the teaching of religious nonsense as scientific fact, then there will be times when I shake a fist, rant and rave a little. But I will try to be calm and not so ranty first. If they would just keep their religiousness to themselves, I could ignore this whole god nonsense.

And about that “fizzled out battery at the end of the day”, line...

It's all about the journey for me, I have more than one hobby, and living is the party.