Things That Can Happen In School

So before I continue with the story about my deconversion process, let’s make one stop at 6^th grade and the perils of being a kid 45 years ago in a system that was not prepared to deal with issues like the one that follows.

I was not the most self-assured child in the Simi Valley school system, and was susceptible to any attention given by adults and teachers. There were, of course, many children like me in grade school, and even higher grades. When the teacher from next door (to the class I was in) decided to give me that much wanted attention I was ready to take it. I was invited to come into his class after school and clean the chalk board, as well as help with other small tasks. This made me feel great. Here was someone who knew I could help out and gave me a chance to do so. But the motive for this request for my help was  not as innocent as I would have hoped it would be.

During one of those sessions where I had finished the board cleaning, the teacher invited me over and had me sit on his lap. There was no reason not to do so, so I climbed onto his lap and we talked. He was thanking me for my help and had his arm around my shoulder so I wouldn’t slip off his lap, and while we talked, his free hand took a restful position on my right thigh. As he talked he gave it a fatherly pat. Then a somewhat less fatherly squeeze, and then the hand drifted to my crotch where there was even less fatherly attention. (And here, I am using the term “fatherly” as in a child/parent relationship and not as in a Catholic “father” priest. That’s a whole ‘nother can-o-worms).

I was uncomfortable, but I know that this happened at least one or two more times, because it was easy enough to suggest to myself that what happened was not intentional. Back in those days, no one, and I mean NO ONE, talked about child molestation in polite company. Hell, they didn’t even talk about it in impolite company. I was probably 12 or 13 when this happened, and I didn’t know what was going on. Needless to say, I did stop going to his class, and the memory would only occasionally crop up, though it did so often enough over the years to stay well planted in my mind.

Many years later, while visiting my parents place, I was reading the local paper, and there was the story of a teacher who had been arrested and was on trial for following a 10 year old girl into the bathroom and fondling her. My exclamation of “Ha, They caught the son-of-a-bitch” surprised the people in the room (family all) as did the story that follow with my explanation of why I was glad they had done so. Now to the best of my recollection, this incident didn’t ruin my life. There may have been some things going on that I was unaware of, and maybe still am, but I really didn’t focus on this. Still, it was there in my memory, and is one of the events in my life that I have clear and visceral reactions too.

This kind of thing happened all the time, to a lot more people than we ever let on, and it still does. First, please get it out of your head if it is in there that this was a gay teacher. He wasn’t. He was a pedophile, and this child molester liked little boys and little girls; an equal opportunity bloke. Second, don’t think that this is no longer a problem. This happens all the time, and though we are better at prepping our children for this kind of thing, we must still keep our eyes and ears open for this kind of off kilter behavior. We are all too willing to give the benefit of the doubt to a trusted adult, and I get that, but less so where our children are involved, please. Just something to think about. This PSA is now over.